I’ve enjoyed the pleasure of pet cats since I was 7 (or am I their pet human!? LOL!), and let me tell you… I just love them! From the tippy-tips of their l’il pointy ears to the squishy beans on their soft and tender toesies, there’s nothing on earth like a sleepy kitty curled up next to you – or better yet, on your lap – purring happily! Love them or hate them, cats are here to stay!
But, to me, my cats have provided more than just a font of unconditional love (boy, I sure wish men could be like that! LOL!) and pure joy! I look to them often for #lifehacks on how to be a better me – even if I don’t enjoy the luxury of hanging around the condo all day looking cute! LOL! Trust me, there are waaaaaaaaay more than 15 valuable lessons I could share with you, but I knew there wasn’t enough bandwidth on the internet to fit them all! It took sooooooooo long to pare down the list! I hope you’ll share what your pretty kitties have taught you, too!
(And YES, I AM writing all of this with my cat sitting next to my keyboard!)
OK! Drumroll, please! Here they are!
1.) Get up and take time to stretch throughout the day! Oooohhhh, that feels good!
2.) Know your limits! It’s OK to end snuggle time if you’re not feeling it anymore!
3.) Look out the window once in a while! Remember that there’s a world outside of yourself!
4.) There’s no need for pest control when you can just bite the cockroaches in half!
5.) Half a cockroach is best shared with a friend! Drop it on them while they’re distracted for maximum surprise – and gratitude!
6.) If your friend is having a particularly terrible day and half a cockroach won’t cut it, take a giant steaming shit on their bed! They’ll be delighted to always have a part of you to keep around when you’re in the other room!
7.) It’s OK to not like your food or water! Loudly voice your protest by knocking your bowls over and demanding the gourmet meal you were promised! You will not stand idly by while injustice reigns supreme!
8.) A closed door means your friends actually hate you! In fact, they’re probably saying terrible things about you right now!
9.) When encountering a closed door and no doubt scathing slander, make sure to shriek and stab until your loved ones finally let you in! How dare they deny your glory!
10.) If a hand is offered in peace, shred it until it bleeds! Mercy is for the pathetic of spirit and slack of heart!
11.) Headbutt the blinds for several nights running to disorient your prey! Disrupt their circadian rhythm like the champ you are!
12.) Watch your friend as they finally settle down into a good night’s sleep! Don’t blink! You’ll know the perfect time to strike!
13.) Store your toys of the trade in the garbage disposal! Nobody will suspect!
14.) Nothing says love like coldblooded murder!
15.) Take a nap in the sunbeams!
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